The Journey Inward Audio

{Another Client Off the Medications}: Hey ladies.. Just wanted to share a break through moment last night. In the past I’ve used sex as a means of “self assurance” that I was pretty enough and good enough to be wanted by someone. I’ve done a lot of Kat’s programs and I’ve been meditating daily. Last night I had a wonderful night out with friends and I had an opportunity to hookup with someone I know. I didn’t. I politely declined and felt so good doing it. Before I would have worried in some twisted way that I was less because I said no or they wouldn’t like me. Last night I didn’t care at all.

OMG our date was incredible. Didn’t make it out the front door without a kiss. He wanted to talk immediately when we got to dinner. He told me he was in love with me that he just panicked because things were going so fast and he was stressed over other issues in his life at the time. He asked me how I had been and I told him about my life change, doing meditation and self-care but I also told him that he had really hurt me. He didn’t really get that because in his mind it was just a break.

I told him if there had been some discussion about what we were actually doing that it would have been easier. He wants to move forward and his 5 year plan is now a 2-3 year plan lol. We are just taking it as it comes. He told me how much easier and better his life is when I am in it how much he loves me, told me all the amazing qualities I have that he loves, that I can completely trust him, how fun I am…I was just gobsmacked.

We had a great time at the concert. He told me how beautiful I am, how amazing I looked in my dress (remember the brown and white polka dot dress from Pretty Woman?). I wear dresses usually anyway, he always liked that. I am still protecting myself but was able to sit back and listen. The sex was amazingly tender and loving.

I see the 2-3 year plan shrinking but I am in no hurry. He is so proud of my business and doesn’t want to hold me back from that. He had asked me to meet him at his house to go to the concert but I said I would like him to pick me up, which he did. I am guardedly ecstatic. Guardedly. I am so busy he will have to fit into my schedule.

I did meditation daily….and checked with Kat when I wasn’t sure about something. She always responded right away. It is really difficult to get going, but with the practice your mind starts clearing and you get begin to get control of yourself. When I started I was all over the place and had absolutely no self-esteem, was so anxious I though I was going to explode…I can’t image being like that again. When I listen to myself in the first class I can’t believe what a mess I was, how weak I was and how I didn’t believe in myself. I couldn’t do anything but the fetal position in my room for days. The change is incredible. I feel great and my guy is back for good I would bet!

Bless you, Kat. Have not signed up for your leaning back workshop yet. Still on the roadmap hopefully can get to it today. Hugs and gratitude!”
Jessica, California, participant of Journey Inward group coaching

“I really just feel that I need to commend Katarina Phang on her programs and being on here to help us.

When I found her online in December, I didn’t know what to think, I was in and out of very short term dating situations that weren’t going well, I was leaning forward and didn’t understand why men were running for the hills, I thought it was so because of them and not at all to do with me. I searched for literature on what to do because clearly something was wrong.

I got her book and read it so many times, I had recently had two men give me the dead relative excuse after I told them off for not contacting me. No wonder…..

I had trouble entertaining the idea of rotation dating, I felt that it was cheating. But I knew I had to venture out of my comfort zone if things were to change. And I really tried to let go of my expectations as I really did have an agenda with dating. Every time they faded I was devastated and I still was for a while. I was taking things so personally. I was so involved with the idea of being with these men that I would literally leave work, take a couple sedatives and sleep for a day in hopes that when I woke up, they would have messaged me. Like how sad is that?! Ugh…

At first I had some miserable dating experiences as I was practicing letting go of expectations. It was hard, I admit it. Like really hard but I could see the ultimate point of it, I just had to get used to it. I posted on here about a couple of my dates and their lack of response after and over time I was less and less upset about it. I was severely hung up on a customer at work as well, and it was affecting me at work and while dating James.

I saved up to do the Cycle 4 Journey Inward replays as I knew that I still needed some extra help beyond the group and book. I was able to do that eventually and at first I was a little skeptical about whether it would help but I kept an open mind. Kat recommended the cycle 4 replays, and I wasn’t sure if it was the right one because of the subject of getting an ex back. I never wanted an ex back but the messages contained within really can apply to just about anyone. I listened to the replays and wrote out the lessons and let my mind wander until I had written pages and pages. Initially I didn’t think any of applied to me but it really did, more than I thought possible. It was an immediate release, like I had just let go of the biggest self esteem burden possible. I could breathe easier, I was crying, I felt such calm, I felt happy. The first two classes I listened to while washing dishes and floors, so there is always time to do this.

The most crucial bit was the part about identifying and labeling. Once I could do that, I could let things go and that has always been my problem. I could never let things go and release. I could not accept initially that I was going to keep meeting the same guys and that it had anything to do with me at all. I realized that came from a place of lack and that although I thought I was confident, I was not.

I relied on a guy for happiness and would worry that I would be single forever. I journaled all the lessons in cycle 4 and at the beginning I struggled to figure out how they applied to me but I just let myself release what came to mind and before I knew it, I had pages and pages of stuff written out that I had not even remembered or thought of and I was very emotional over it. That release and “eureka” moment was sudden and cathartic. Since then I have barely thought twice about if a guy is avoiding me, they don’t! I had so many men from my past appear again and many online that I practically needed a secretary! I have to beat them down with a stick. I credit Kat completely for this.

Within a few days, the energy shift was noticeable. Co workers commented, men started flirting with me, I was getting twice the amount of messages, I couldn’t keep up. Multiple exes came out of the woodwork asking me out. I went into rotation dating with a vengeance and I felt such power in my femininity and vulnerability that I became irresistible. None of my dates ever faded away after that either. I had one potential date fade and then Rudy was sort of wishy washy but I had no problems not messaging him because I was busy with Eric and Sean who both picked up the pieces.

Eric started messaging me on Tinder (yes, there are good men on Tinder!) and the rest is history. He has pursued so heavily, it’s the stuff out of movies. He even says it’s the mans job and that his own mother turned his dad down for a year before she accepted a date with him. Men will go after what they want if they want it bad enough. Eric tells me “without the personality and confidence it’s only steak without the sizzle” and it’s true.

I was dedicated to doing the inner work and being grateful for the advice on here. The one time I went against advice, it blew up in my face. So ladies, please know that when we respond, we have been there, done that and bought the t shirt.

I totally credit Kat for this transformation of mine. I never imagined being at this place mentally and being able to put my phone away and being happy and optimistic about life and the future. When I changed my profile picture, there were multiple comments about looking happy, which is a big change from the “looks like someone died” look I used to have.

So thank u Kat for responding to my posts, from the ridiculously pathetic ones up until now .”