The Ebook: He’s Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready

Get Husband Back 2 Weeks After Implementing What I Teach, 6/28

Thanks Kat!! My hubby is back to me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life… It’s not really easy to lean back all the time but.. We’re at Powell River, BC in vacation at this moment and had “es ee ex..” After so long..

I started my journey with Kat not long ago when I found a sexy pic of a woman in his iPhone, confronted him, he said she supported him while I was not around. He even thought to have a family with her but she said he’s too old for her. For me it’s an “Emotional Affair”, so cheating. We fought last week.

I decided to divorce though still loved him. I leaned back for almost a week when he asked to go out for dinner, I said ” No, Thanks”. We didn’t really talk to each other but were just polite, saying “thanks” or “please” or “Hi” and “bye.” I was wondering if he would ever approach me again or is this really the end?””

Get Husband Back, 6/10

“My husband came back two weeks ago. Dear Katarina Phang, he is back because I was being feminine, because I smiled to him now. Because I stop complaining and actually lived the moment.

This is the very same man who told me he didn’t love me anymore and we were done.

I just stopped being reactive and started being positive, happy and busy. He likes that in me..

When I found you, he was with this other woman. He always said she was special, and I think that woman was doing what you are preaching to us, that’s why I want to learn everything from you because you are exactly like her. He couldn’t resist her.

And true enough when I do what u teach, he is confused. He accepted me back and she’s no longer in the picture.”

Get Husband Back, 5/29

“Kat, my husband came back last night. Said my energy was different and he realized that he wanted to spend his life with me. It was unexpected and I’m still in a state of disbelief. I didn’t think it would happen so fast. I was really unattached when he was telling me all his feelings and truly just enjoyed the moment. I didn’t say a word and just let him talk. So different than me before. Thanks for everything ?

My husband left in February. I was doing all the things that Kat teaches us not to. Bothering him for time and sex. Getting upset when he didn’t give me what I wanted, pushing him further away. Something about marriage had triggered all my insecurities and them when my dad passed away last year I seemed to get more demanding. Even when I was not being demanding or bitchy, my energy was all anxious and I was constantly wondering what was “wrong” with him… Etc. The reality was he was working three jobs, saving for his dream.

He had one day off every other week and I was expecting him to spend it with me. He was exhausted and I was draining every bit he had left. So he left. It blind sided me. I’m a pretty open minded person and intuitively didn’t fight his leaving. It was peaceful. I didn’t help him pack, but I also didn’t try and stop him.

The reality of him leaving woke me up. I choose to use that time to dive into myself and figure out why this was happening again. It was a pattern I had from previous relationships where I would get the man I wanted and then after we got into a secure thing, I shifted and pushed them away. In my head, I thought marriage was a guarantee against that. I was wrong. Men will do what they have to when they are not inspired by the woman they are with. Freedom before love.

I found Kat on April 3rd and started reading and re-reading her book. I listened to various audios over and over. The “Leaning Back Workshop” and “How to be a High Value woman” were particularly helpful. I did the meditation from the leaning back series at least a dozen times. I know that repetition is key to change. I have not yet done Journey Inward, but I still plan on it.

Since, finding this my life has changed in so many ways. I discovered how to make myself happy. I quit my job at the hospital and got an offer at a busy tattoo studio as a full time artist. I removed toxic people from my life with no drama. I started wearing more dresses and my friends keep telling me how “good” I look and how more relaxed I feel. My brother came over and made some comment about how “This was the most feminine he had ever seen me.”

All the feedback kept encouraging me that I was on the right path, for me… It no longer was about getting my husband back. I decided in myself that this was the best thing that ever happened to me and regardless I was going to be really solid in my feminine energy from this point forward. And I just let go… Then I started getting hit on.

That never used to happen to me. Even though I was attractive, my energy was damn scary to people. That has changed. Nurses from my work asked for my number. Guys at bars when I was hanging out with my friends or drawing in the corner by myself. I even had two of my long time male friends try to pursue me in the last month.

One just last week, told me he was going to go to my husband and tell him if he didn’t step up, that he was going to start pursuing his wife. I asked him not to or I’m sure he would have! I told him I was not interested in having a relationship.

So long story short… Saw my husband on Monday. Was totally unattached and relaxed. He ended up coming back to our house and staying the night, which he has done about every other week since moving out. I always let him come and go. Never said anything or questioned him or gave him crap about our relationship. A couple times I slipped up and either texted my feelings or went to the place where he lived twice, this was before I had started to embrace what I learned here. He very quickly pulled back and then I wouldn’t hear from him. So I stopped contacting him unless he contacted me.

Usually he would only contact me if he needed something, but I just was nice and let it happen. Part of me felt “used” but I kept letting it go and being sweet about it. So back to this Monday, in the morning he left and then came back like two hours with a gift. He said it was for my new job. Then he called and asked to come over last night to get something and I was busy with a friend so I made him wait.

When he did come over, he grabbed me and asked me if I felt it on Monday. I just looked at him because honestly I didn’t know what he meant. He said he felt connected to me and that he wanted to come home and spend the rest of his life with me. I couldn’t believe it. I just stood there and looked at him and let him talk. I leaned back the whole time and then gave him and big hug. He asked me to put his wedding ring back on.

Today we woke up and he asked me to go to a movie with him and then we are going to dinner at a mutual friends house this evening. I don’t really know what else to say. Right, now I’m sitting in a hot bath, writing this long ass message. Hope this helps someone. All you ladies have sure helped me:)

I feel like it important to note how hard I dove into Kat’s teaching. I’m married and starting dating anyway, just friends, but male friends. I also put her audios in my ears everyday. I would walk around work and listen with one earphone. I stopped initiating physically, but it wasn’t until I stopped initiating energetically that the change happened. Every time I would start to think about my husband I would tell myself to pull back and think about me. I started a journal. Some days were really hard and I couldn’t post here for some reason so I had to dive into myself. I was plagued with fear and guilt, shame. I had to cry alone, talk myself through it. It sucked, yet a necessary part of the transformation.”

Get Ex Back and ENGAGED On Easter, 4/05

“Hi ladies, on Easter morning my ex boyfriend came to my house with an engagement ring :). I had met him 3 1/2 years ago. He had just got divorced after 20 year marriage. He said he loved me within a first few dates and wanted to be exclusive. I fell so in love, he was everything I had ever wanted and also what a lot of other women would want too: an alpha male with options who makes good money.

He had grown sons and I was a single mother of one little girl who does not see or know her father. After three blissful months he pulled back he was confused curious about other women, etc.

Well, I did not take this to well. It began a long cycle of breaking up making up. He systematically went thru his list of women and then some. He would get back with me and then be confused 4 days later because he would feel like he was missing out . I was highly reactive and jealous. I went thru his phone if we got back together. I personalized everything and had a timeline for marriage like crazy.
I was fearful jealous and anxious, yet he was good to me when we would get back together. He took me and my daughter to Disney helped me get a car fixed things around the house, etc but I wanted more more more and I tried to heavily rely on him for emotional support too.

I ended it in July of this year and swore to really stay away. I actually started dating someone else which is what brought me to Katarina. I ordered the book and read it every morning over coffee. I make sure I log into the group even when I’m not in the mood reading other stories helps me even when it seems like it wouldn’t pertain to me.

I also joined the Feminine Goddess Enlightened Relationship monthly membership. I want to take Journey Inward but I started getting the point that I am responsible for my happiness and to calm myself and take care of myself with no apologies. I decided to BE the rock of stability I’ve been looking for, for me and my daughter.

I am happier and grateful every day. In the meantime I had a heavy rotation with a few relationships (little ones) thrown in that I’ve posted about. I learned a lot in these months following Katarina and this wonderful group of women and am still learning. And lo and behold on easter morning my ex EUM showed up on one knee with the engagement ring I had wanted:). I said yes and he asked me to not say anything to his family or friends yet which I now am totally fine with. In the past i would have exploded and taken it personal and well you know…now I’m just happy.

And I’m leaning back and letting him work out the knots of telling his family and friends. I am just happy on my pedestal and I don’t have to worry about it. Me and my daughter will be ok no matter what. The other night he said that being around me was like a calming mind sanctuary for him. That is the biggest compliment I could ever receive.”

Finally, ENGAGED!! As shared on 4/22!

“It was a complete surprise! I knew he wanted to propose between January and June but I thought he might do it in Florida at the end of the month or on our cruise in May but instead it was just a weekend getaway to the mountains while we were snow shoeing! He asked me to record a song he wanted to sing for me. So he started singing thinking of you by Ed Sheerhan and then changed mid stream to she has diamonds on the inside….then he dropped to one knee with the ring! I was speechless and then just started smothering him with kisses! Then the tree above us rained down snow on us like four times! Natures fireworks! It was truly beautiful!.”

Get Back With Ex, 7/14

“My ex reclaimed me again on 7-11-14. Took me out to a fancy ills loan restaurant on Pearl Street in boulder and asked me to be exclusive with him again!

We were together 2 1/2 years then he broke up with me. His son was being influenced by his ex to hate me. We (the kids and I). had always gotten along fine until the ex began pressuring the kids. I had been invited to North Carolina for his family trip to celebrate his parents 50th wedding anniversary. The ex freaked out when she found out I was going and began to work from every angle to sabotage it. She has a personality disorder called BPD. She was unfortunately very successful and we split up prior to the trip.

We had been apart for two months. However after three weeks of being split he began contacting me every day. Randomly showing up out of the blue and calling daily. He told me how much he loved me but didn’t reclaim me. I let myself grieve for three days after our split. Then I began to focus on me. I meditated. I worked out. I spent time with family and friends and above all I never once contacted my ex.

Every time I heard from him I was super sweet and allowed myself to connect with him. I was light and fun and playful energy. I began flirting with him and complementing him. I only mirrored his behavior though. I feel that was very important. I didn’t question him about anything. I didn’t ask him about his single life at all. I wanted him to wonder what I was up to rather than me to be consumed by thoughts of what he was doing. It totally worked!

He asked me on a date. He brought me flowers and took me to dinner in another town. At dinner he began to speak to me very seriously. He said he wants me to be his girlfriend exclusively and he never plans on breaking up with me again. He told me he didn’t know how important I was in his life until I wasn’t there anymore. He said he never wants to feel that way ever again. He missed me and his life is better with me in it. He said even when things get difficult that breaking up with me is no longer the option. We will work thru things together.

He told me he wants to marry me a year or two down the road. We both cried and hugged. I heard someone in the restaurant say did they just get engaged? Lol! Although that hasn’t happened yet I am not worried or focused on marriage. I am focused on creating a solid connection between him and I that is strong enough to survive all of life’s challenges. That is what really matters after all. Marriage will naturally follow as Katarina Phang teaches and I believe it! She has changed my life! I am a soft easy going woman now who knows her own worth. I came to her broken and stuck in self destructive patterns. I am free now. Free to love and free to attract abundance in my life. It’s truly been an amazing experience!”

…..And Nearly Engaged!!! Update 12/4:

“OMG Katarina Phang. He just told me over Microsoft communicator that he has been window shopping for an engagement ring! I am crying happy tears right now. I can’t believe it! Kat he was the most EUM I have ever met and here I sit in tears just in shock at the mention of a ring. Wow! I am leaning back. No expectations but wow! This is so life changing Kat! Thank you. I actually love you and haven’t ever met you Kat!”

ENGAGED On Valentine’s I, 2/14

“Hi Kat, I’m engaged. Four months since I’ve come to you! Photo says it all.

When I met my guy (just 5 months a go) he was so anti weddings, anti serious relationships, anti commitment. In fact, he told me a couple times that he was looking to have fun! But I fell hard and decided that come hell or high water I am pursuing this guy. I was way too forceful and made matters worse. I saw he was interested. But then I’d freak out and chase him away.

Then I found Kat. I sent her an email which probably would have taken hours to read. Obsessing over every detail of our conversations, his actions etc. She advised to me to just read the book. I decided to give it a chance. I started applying the book’s tips immediately. I must say, without even doing it to the T, it worked. And I almost thought someone was playing a joke on me. How accurately it worked, I’m still amazed.

Anyway, fast forward 5 months (and I know many will think it’s a bit too soon) and I have a ring. It happened on Valentine’s day. We were having a couple photo shoot for Valentine’s and he just got down on one knee. I will get photos from the photographer in a few days. We have discussed getting engaged but I didn’t think it would be so soon.

I’m still in shock. But it feels right. I don’t feel strange. All I am is happy. I do almost feel like it’s added pressure on me to keep things balanced and good, the way they have been. But I know if I over think it, it will do nothing but damage. On the positive side… I am so happy. I never thought this wild one could be tamed. And I am so happy to say, he has such a soft heart. Not the guy I thought he was at all.”

Get Back With Ex And ENGAGED On Valentine’s III, 2/14/2015

“I got engaged!! Yay, I can’t stop being supper excited… I have learned so much from you ladies on here and still have room to grow! I am very excited it happened… After 5 years of wishy washy proposals and signals from him, I finally feel content!

On Valentine’s Day I had his present, a few small things in a gist bag… and he says, I thought you said no Valentine’s Day gifts… I immediately felt sad like did he really not get me anything! I can get super scared about spending a lot of money, I did say don’t spend money I would rather have a house of our own, because we are past due… 5 year relationship here… So, I was coming to terms with not receiving a gift… hours go by… then I come around the corner and a bag was on the bed…. I screamed!!! Of excitement!!! he laughs and says you haven’t even opened it yet… I still get chills… he didn’t even put it on I did, now that I look back he probably though I was crazy, lol. I eventually calmed down and said YES.

After a year we started to have problems with control. I wanted control he wanted control… we started to get off and on more… I became a full time student and he thought that meant I had it easy and he left the whole relationship up to me to maintain. That only worked for like a week then I ended things. Here is where we got dysfunctional! Bad bad habits started to form from the both of us. I struggled with leaving the relationship alone completely… we were that couple was passionately in love and fueling fire. I have had a best friend Dasha for almost 8 years now and I would turn to her for support/feedback/sounding board… She would give me advice from what she learned from Kat and what worked well for her. In August 2014, I started to learn how to lean back and gather my thoughts and control my self instead of controlling the relationship.”

Get Back With Ex, 1/17

“Just wanna post a follow-up on my date last night with my ex:

Actually he is not my ex anymore. Katarina Phang, you are truly an angel sent from heaven to the ladies who need help like me. We had a heart to heart talk and the night went well. Magically amazing! Two weeks before, 45 days after we broke up, he opened a convo on me. Then he was consistent on texting me, sending me messages morning and night. Even when he went back to his home in UK for the holidays.

I was mirroring him all the time while I still have my rotations too. Last week Sat night was our first meeting since we broke up. It was a bit of an awkward situation. We didn’t talk much. I went home with a lot of questions. He went quite for four days. I still leaned back and didn’t ask him or send any messages.

Yesterday, I broke the silence by asking him over a souvenir from our Sri Lanka holiday, which I have left in his house. I needed the souvenir for I am sending a package back home. I was willing to let him go already and decided to moved on. He continued the convo by sending a pic of what he was doing then ended up with asking me out which I said yes but without expectations, I just wanna have fun.

We talked and danced from 9pm till 2am. He opened the conversation how he felt for me. He said he was done evaluating his feelings and realized how much he loves and adores me and even if I don’t want him back he will still love me forever. He was sorry for being an asshole. He even asked me a ” what if I ask you to marry me” question. Which I answered with, “Don’t give me with a what if question because that type of question should be asked only if you are truly 100% sure. You have to build trust, friendship, love and commitment before you can decide. Then I will give you my answer.”

He said, “fair enough”. He stepped up and claimed me last night. He was so attentive and sweet. More than what he really used to be. We ended up into his flat but we just ate and went to bed hugging each other tight without sex. Morning came, he woke me up with kisses and a breakfast in bed. We already have plans till next weekend. And he even gave me all the details and schedule of his activities for the week. 30 mins after he dropped me home then texted me with a msg of missing me already and asking my plan for the day. I know that relationship will not be always full of roses and it takes hard-work to make it work. I will constantly apply what I have learned from you Kat and the wonderful ladies in this group.

Kat, I know I said it before but I wanna say it over and over again, how much I am thankful to find you and letting me join the group. Thank you , thank you, thank you!

All the patience and leaning back was worthy enough having him back. You don’t have any idea how happy I am. TBH i am still floating with happiness until now. To all the ladies in this group, thank you for the great advices you shared. I may not participate all the time at the convo but I love reading all of them. Different thoughts and perspective, I respect them all.”

Get Back With Ex, 1/17

“Hey ladies. Good news my Romeo and I are back together. He invited me for lunch today. We talked and he told me he had to be tough in me for me to stop my nagging and appreciate him. He says he missed me as well. He also told me he is in the phase were he do busy and hopes I understand and be patient with him. Wants me to be his support. Thank you all for your support I thought I lost him but he just wanted me to get it together. When we met, he gave me a big hug and right away said babe..lol anyways its a relief. He will be traveling on the first for 2 weeks. This Sunday would have made it a month since we broke up. I’m glad.
I found Kat about 3 days after we broke up. He days I’m growing up. .lol thank you Kat.

You’re the best Katarina.”

Get Back With Ex, 2/4

“We all already know this but Katarina Phang your teachings yet again prove their value. A year ago I was at rock bottom with my ex EUM. He had cut off all contact and gone back to his ex. Now just this evening he gave me a key to his apartment and said he trusted me which is major for him. He hasn’t officially claimed me but who really needs a title. No expectations has been the key. The less I expect the more I get. Amazing how simple that is but how difficult it can be to execute. Thank you Katarina and thank you ladies-your wisdom helps me daily.”

ENGAGED 10/4…MARRIED 12/13!!!

NO MORE EUMs! Found the person who is completely into me and wants to be with me because I became emotionally available! I was with and EUM in the past because I was an EUW. I complained and complained, but it did not get any results and I was at fault. When I had the strength to start to date others that is when I met my now fiance.

Last week, I told my EUM that I am getting engaged to be married and that I will not be seeing him anymore. He thought I was telling him this so he can step up. I think he is still in shock. Not my problem anymore, he was given a million chances and someone else came along who knew my worth and valued me. For a long time, I thought I was in love with both guys at the same time and it was so confusing. Then, I saw my fiance battle for me. He had to battle his family and mine to have me. He was wiling to go to extreme measures to have me by his side.

At first, his constant attention was annoying, then I realized that this is how it is supposed to be. Not the absentee partnership I was used to. I was too independent and did not need a mad by my side.When a man wants a women, he is willing to fight for her. That alone made me value him more. I was chasing and yes ladies, I was chasing my EUM. At first I was initiating our dates and sometimes that made me very frustrated because everything was on his terms. Then, I joined this group and started to learn about my own frustration. So, to lean back, I would let him go and then we would come back stronger. We built a a very good caring friendship, but I knew down deep he was not into me as much I was in him. At one point and I think it was around June, I got fed up with the roller coaster and his Peter Pan antics.

Then I stopped initiating and leaned back really back and considered dating others. I old him that I was going to see other people and I was not satisfied with our current relationship. He asked me for more time and came back at first with initiating our dates, calling me every day and wanting to talk and so on. Then he fell back to his absent routine that is when I decided to date others for sure and that is when I met Adam.

I resisted Adam so much at first. The attraction was there from the start, but we both wanted different things from a long term relationship and it was discussed on the first coffee date. He wanted more children and I could not and would not have any more even if I can. So I wished him good luck and did not contact him. Two weeks later, he called me and asked me out and I gracefully declined. He did not give up. He convinced me to see him again. I told myself, just go out there and have fun.

At that time, I was still spending time with my EUM and helping him with his career. I refused to see Adam as much as he wanted to see me , but the more I refused the more he wanted me and pursued.

On my birthday, I got a happy birthday text from my EUM and a little crystal figurine two weeks later that he was given by someone else. He re-gifted me the gift. LOL LOL

Adam showed up at my house the day of my birthday with a beautiful gift and before he went to work. Later that evening insisted on taking me out on a romantic evening. From that point on, I started investing more time with Adam and the relationship was getting better. Not that much frustration and no pull and push tug games I had with the EUM. It was actually easy.

There was one time, we got really into it and later we resolve it. He helped me realize my self worth and I was able to help him get closer to his children from his first marriage. He also realized, he really does not want more children, but was missing his children because they lived in a different state.

So, last week he asked me to marry him again for the 5th time and went to my dad again and asked for his blessing. I said yes! Somewhere in between August and now, I have realized, I love this man and truly I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is proud to be with me, it is like he wants to shout to the world that I am with him. He brags about it to anyone that listens. He says Great! George Clooney has nothing on him because he is truly marrying up.

I look back and think, what was wrong with me to to be with a man that wanted a part time partner vs. a man who wanted a full time partner? There was nothing wrong with me. I was just not emotionally available to be with anyone full time and I always want to fix broken things that is why I was attracted to the EUM. EUM/ Peter Pan is still working on himself and his career. Adam is established in his career, knows what he wants, and is very loving. So Katarina was right about EUW will attract EUM, at least in my case it was so true.

Katarina Phang, no one will outshine you and you are loved believe me. You have brought more out of me than all of the other books and relationships counselors’ materials ever did. Thank you, even though I probably fought against your teachings most, I am now a true convert to your teachings.

Your teachings and philosophy is not just on how to deal with guys, they are extended to how to deal with life. I am not fearful of fear nor am I scared to face the the unknown anymore. In fact, I am welcoming the change and looking forward to the future and not looking back.

I am stronger because of your teachings.

Again, thank you for everything and I am so sorry I gave you a hard time on some of your teachings. I had to adapt and modify to fit my life style because of the cultural issues. Hey, they still worked. :)”

ENGAGED as shared on Christmas, 12/25

“So it’s been a year since I found Katarina and joined the group. I joined hoping to save my relationship after my ex cheated.

Then luck had it I met my current boyfriend on OKCupid. He was leading each stage of the relationship. He was always a bit ahead of me. He would text, call, organize dates. He asked me to be his girlfriend, meet his parents and move in with him…all without me even asking or thinking that!

We went on a holiday to Galapagos Island and when we were watching the sunset he proposed!

A year ago I wouldn’t believe I would be in this situation now. I feel so lucky and am grateful for the journey and personal growth. I have and continue to learn more from this forum and I’m grateful for people’s comments during a moment of insecurity, doubt, over thinking that kept me grounded and feminine! Xx”

ENGAGED as shared on 11/8

“We are engaged! It was absolutely amazing- we’re vacationing in Jamaica right now and before we left, everyone at work and friends were all pretty much betting that he would do it on our holiday. I dunno, it was just a feeling! He just kept telling me “I love you sooooo much” and would kiss me so tenderly, it just felt like he was ready – and then he would be quite distracted by messages etc. There were a few other clues which were quite obvious in hindsight but I just wrote them off in my head so I could drop my expectations as well ;).But when it didn’t happen the first couple of days, I just wrote off the idea and stopped thinking about it. Turns out he had the ring and had planned to do it on the trip, but didn’t really know when or how he was going to do it – hence the delay.

So the night before, our resort was lit by moonlight and I was commenting on how magical it was… We were walking around the moonlight filled beach and he thought it was the perfect time to do it – but he didn’t have the ring on him (back at the villa) so he couldn’t do it. Anyways the next day after lunch, we walked back to the villa, and he just sat on the lounge chair on the deck, and pulled me towards him and held me. He asked me the question, but because I didn’t think it was going to happen, I thought I mis-heard – so I said, “what?” He repeated the question again and I said, “really?” He nodded and pulled out the ring.

Turns out he’d been thinking about it for two months – he had asked my dad for permission when they were over 2 months ago. After he asked, he spent the next two months researching rings, speaking to friends and dealers, sourcing the stone from Geneva, then taking it for setting etc. He put in so much work and he’s SO proud of it – keeps asking to look at it on my hand etc. Absolutely adorable <3″

Get Back With Ex, 11/4!!!

“Katarina Phang, you are a relationship genius! I am eternally grateful! It’s been two months since I found you and your book and began applying and studying your teaching. The best money I have ever spent! The more I have leaned back, the more my ex EUM continues to step up! I am amazed! I have totally focused on myself and my life and he continues to pursue me! He lives out of town, but he visits as much as he can. He recently came into town to take my son to a professional football game that was an additional 3 hours away.

He calls and texts multiple times a day. I NEVER initiate calls to him and I initiate texts to him twice a week, before his football games to wish him good luck (he is a high school football coach)! All other contact is initiated by him, not because of anything I have said, he just does it!!

Tonight, while on the phone, he said that he “absolutely adores me!” He said he is so happy that I gave him a second chance because I am the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was an idiot not see it sooner! He shared that being with me is different than anything he ever experienced! He says I motivate him to be a better man and a better person because I am so passionate about the things that I do! He said he is ready to push all his chips in with me. He shared that he was going to tell me this when came to see me next week but could not keep it to himself that long.

My jaw was on the ground because I had let go of any expectations when I found Kat!! This from the man who was confused about his feelings for me earlier in year! Things were great in the beginning. He was a great guy to both myself and my son. I got really attached to him and I was leaning forward too much. I started asking him about a future together, and was constantly seeking reassurance about where the relationship was going. I feel disgusted just thinking about it now. He accepted a job out of town mid relationship and I clung on even more, he continued to pull away and I continued to lean forward to try to bring him back. He eventually told me that he was confused about his feelings and needed space. We were broken up for 6 months.

Ladies, Kat knows what she is doing, read the book, do the inner work. This is amazing! I would have messed it up with out her! I did the work for me, not to get him back, but I ended winning in the end! Screaming Thank-you Kat, you are the Best!”

Get Back With Ex, 12/7

“It’s official – my ex has claimed me back as his girlfriend! He’s gone from being shut-down and unavailable to communicating how he feels, changes he wants to work on – but best of all, he opened up about spicing up our sex life! Leaning back has really allowed him to step up. I had NO idea he could even do this. In the past it would be me demanding and nagging him. I’m truly shocked.

I’ve listened to journey inward at least 4 times! I did listen to all 6 classes. The biggest lessons were learning to believe in the process. I was very insecure and would want control the outcome and put on the demands, nag and react when he didn’t meet my needs. I now know he was being boiled.

There is a lot of freedom in letting go and having no expectations. My anxiety left and I knew I didn’t need to control the the outcome. He could see the change in me and commented on that. I had softened and didn’t resist when our conversation ended yesterday and he didn’t invite me to stay the night. The old me would have panicked and begged, but I just replied with ok.

This is a fellow who for the past 7 yrs has never talked about anything sexual. He would shut the conversation down. This in turn would make me more frustrated. He also only kissed with closed lips, so I just accepted he was quiet, reserved and unique! Last night, he kissed me with an open mouth for the first time – I was shocked and had no idea he even knew how to do it!!!! He then went on to discuss various sexual positions and asked me what I liked.

I was like – who is this man!! He has really stepped up and is leading. He says he’s always been like this, but pulled away as I became more controlling. I just had no idea. Very excited to be building our connection back. It will be stronger and more open than before and it will be from his leading.”

Claimed, 12/16

“Well, Katarina….this froggy is BOILED. My EUM that I have been dating for the last 10 months finally, FINALLY claimed me. It’s actually been 10 days but I waited to see if it was real lol, if he wasn’t gonna try and back out at the last minute but…nope. Here we are. And in fact this past weekend, he took me to his mom’s house 5 hours away where I met his step dad, father, brother, brother’s girlfriend, uncle, aunt, and numerous cousins all while attending a family birthday party.

10 days ago, I had had ENOUGH. Realizing that my complicated non-relationship with him was holding me back from finding abundance elsewhere, this time I meant it. I was prepared to miss him and suffer for the better opportunities that I was confident awaited me on the other side. I am not sure if it was my energy shift or what, but I let him know how I felt, wished him all the best with love and light, and carried on my life. I was on a date, had a great time, and on the way home FINALLY checked my phone. Six missed calls and a million messages. EUM was in an utter panic, wanting to see me right then and “talk.”

I calmly said no, that he needed to stop this pattern. Long story short – he INSISTED on seeing me the next day and said that we love each other, and we’ve been dating for ten months, and he couldn’t imagine his life without me. I was not convinced, I have heard similar things before…but he said he was ready, that even though we were both scared and vulnerable we can make it work. Instead of feeling over the moon happy, I felt trepidation. What changed? How could he be ready NOW? I know he had a rotation as I did too…but in my feminine energy i just sat back and decided to see how it would unfold. He now calls me his girlfriend, introduced me as such to everyone, said we are exclusive, text our mutual friends to tell them the news (they all said “finally” lol). All him. All his idea. All actions.

later after talking he told me he expunged his phone of exes and randoms, deleted all dating profiles, and I agreed to do the same.

Sooooo…we shall see what happens. Thank you Kat and all the ladies who gave me such great advice and energy. I think without Kat’s teachings I would have panicked a million times over, acted super masculine, and probably completely ruined this. And now more than ever I am still using all the techniques; I lean back, mirror, am non-reactive, no expectations. I am just gonna do my best to enjoy the ride, no matter how long or short lived it may be. I still have lots of inner work to do and I can always learn from this… ”

Get Back With Ex, 11/10

“OMG! Did he just invited me to spend New Year’s Eve just the two of us?

He broke up with me back in March. We got back together last month.

Last year, when we were dating the first time we dated, that was a messy subject. He wanted to spend with his friends (as he does EVERY YEAR SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN) and I wanted to be with him. It ended up being a mix of both which was not what I wanted and I felt like it only happened ’cause I pushed. He was attentive and all during that night but It wasn’t his idea, you know?

Just now he asked about my plans for New year’s and said he had a crazy idea. Went on about a nice place a friend told him about, not too expensive where we could go for two nights. I had to Ask him if he meant just the two of us ’cause honestly I’m beyond surprised. A week ago he said something about going north with just some of the boys, I said nothing and Even started to have some ideas of things I could do with my closest girls…Now this!

This is the guy that left me in March saying he was not ready for a serious thing…

He just used the word girlfriend. First time since we got back together even though he had already brought up exclusivity. Happy! ?

FWB Turns Serious, 12/15

“Kat’s programs are probably the best thing you could do for yourself. I read the book at the beginning of this year when I started hanging out with my FWB at the time. The book taught me how to lean back and calm my hyper-insecurity and anxiety down. that same FWB is now my boyfriend who says that I’m the love of his life and that he can’t let me go. I am not perfect at leaning back, far from it, but reflecting on what she’s taught reminds me to stay grounded; in short, I’ve been profoundly changed, and that says a lot. If you can afford it, you should definitely attend this class, and read the book.

It was a gradual change that began when we started hanging out in January. The first few months it was mainly just hanging out that wound up as casual sex. While bored online googling one day, I stumbled across Kat’s insightful article about how you can actually turn a FWB into a serious relationship simply by loving yourself and leaning back.

Out of curiosity, I bought her book, which taught me things like not ever mentioning that it bothered me to see his ex girlfriend’s toiletries and face creams taking up his entire bathroom counter. Normally I’d flip out on the spot, however every morning I’d leave his house being okay with not knowing how much longer the hooking up was going to go on for. I basically guarded my heart the way Kat taught me to and somewhere in the middle of spring he admitted that he was beginning to have feelings for me.

Fast forward to the fall and I am shocked that Kat was right all along. A casual FWB who previously said he didn’t want anything serious now says that he’s in love with me. This is the first time in my human experience that I’ve been proved wrong in my belief that an FWB can never evolve to anything beyond just being casual.

I have yet to take the classes, but I plan to after I recover from Christmas spending. I am the most insecure and most stubborn person I know, so the fact that I could be moved so greatly from just reading a book makes me a solid believer that these classes are the best thing you can do for yourself. Thanks so much, Kat!”

ENGAGED 5 Months after a breakup, Thanksgiving 11/28…Married 12/21!!!

Ok, I had just broken up with my bf for the 2nd time in a year and half when I came across Kat’s book. I bought the book and it was as though Kat had written this book after watching his and my relationship. I realized all the things I had done that actually pushed him away when I was trying to pull him closer.
The number one thing and pretty much combines all other things in a nutshell was my expectations of him and how I thought the relationship should be once we had moved to that level. Although I was never the one to initiate any serious talk or moving our relationship further at any time in our courtship. He was quick to “claim” me and move the relationship to the next level. However I was just as quick to move my “expectations” to the next level. When he didn’t meet them I was quick to let him know this. And I basically pushed him away.
We continued to have contact for the next 4 months. And I began to practice Kat’s teaching. It wasn’t always easy, sometimes I would revert back to my old ways, but I just kept on trying. I really began to focus on myself and less on him. I got a new job which kept me very busy, joined a gym and starting making goals for myself and my future.
I completely leaned back (which was easy since I was so engulfed in my own life). I mirrored him the way Kat teaches when he did reach out to me. He kept coming around. I didn’t date others at first, although he was, I just wasn’t interested. I had to force myself to date others after a while.
Although they were few and casual I did start forcing myself back out into the dating world. I actually had to turn him down a time or 2 because I already had plans. This was not something he was used to and it really stirred him. This didn’t last long before he stepped back up to claim me.
I didn’t give in at first. I kept my distance but enjoyed the attention he was showering on me. But I didn’t give in completely until he proved that he was serious. Once he said he was going to move back in I stopped dating others.
Then I joined Kat’s journey inward class. Because even though I had mastered the leaning back and mirroring, I had really pushed down my feminine side, and I didn’t even realize it. So now I am learning to cultivate my feminine side.
All his friends and family tell me they have never seen him so happy. He kept mentioning marriage but never actually proposed and I never said anything when he would talk about it. I just smiled or kissed or hugged him.
His parents came in town this past week and his mom had a ring that she wanted to give me. I was truly speechless, I really didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything I just looked at it. Later when they left I put the ring on his dresser. He teased me that I couldn’t have an engagement ring if I hadn’t been proposed to.
Then he pulled me in his arms and said “Marry me, I want you to be my wife, I want you to be Mrs. Warner”, and I said yes. Of course. Turns out they had planned this all along and he was waiting for this ring to propose to me. Sooooo that’s my story.
He just walked in the room and said, “When are you going to marry me, how long are you going to make me wait?” So I guess I need to go give him some attention. Thanks Kat, I will never stop reading your material and working on myself.”

As shared on 09/17/2014.

Maura has been almost 2 years with her EUM and she was totally at a loss before finding me a year ago. These days he’s courting her like a man in love should. I in fact hear wedding bells. “Kat, I don’t know what to tell you anymore in order to thank you for your teachings and support and advices!!! It’s like magic! Even the way he stares at me it’s different now. I can see love coming from him in every smile and every touch and every word ! Crazy !!! Thanks so much! I can’t believe this is happening and I feel sooooo happy all the time ! Love u <3”

UPDATE as shared on 10/12/2014:

“OMG Katarina!!! I don’t even have the words to tell you what I feel today… Well, it was exactly a year ago that I reached my lowest point with my guy which lead me to you a couple of weeks later… Yes, a year ago he brought his hot Ukrainan woman to Jordan, telling me about it and adding that he needed me to leave him alone while he would be “enjoying” her…

Worst period of my life ! Oh I cried so much because of it and I felt so hurt and depressed… It was the end of my word. I couldn’t understand at all why this was happening to me and what I did wrong to push him to act this way… Why wasn’t he falling in love with me although we have been seeing each other for a almost a year by then??

I have the chills while writing it because I remember this pain oh so well! But I’m smiling too!! I’m smiling because finding you totally changed my life and changed who I am… Oh yeah ! You and your ladies here helped me grow and today for the first time in my life I feel I’m not a girl anymore but a true woman!!!

Thank you Kat!!! You can’t imagine how grateful I am that I met you and I thank God every night for this!

I could have never believed a year ago that this man would still be in my life!! Never! To me it was just the end… I could have never believed that this man could ever love me the way he does now, and even expressing it out loud in font of everyone!

Never Kat… Who would have believed that this same guy would b talking to me just yest about how we should raise OUR kids! I almost need to slap myself to make sure I’m not dreaming! Haha….

He had already started to call me again as friends only by the time I found Kat but I can assure you that from the very first time I saw him again after just a week of learning her teachings he had to noticed the change already and I even remember that he said “oh ! You are different! I dunno what changed in you.. But you seem much more confident and fun” TA DAAA!

I took the 3 first rounds of Journey Inward and 2 first rounds of Leaning Back Workshop I think… I still listen to it when I’m triggered (mostly when I am PMSing ).

Of course it was up and down after that… For months! He even brought the Russian woman back in January and flew to her in April… It was a long long path…. Until I finally realized what leaning back really meant because I did it spontaneously without thinking about it mid-August.. I really wanted to move on ! And that’s when the magic happened.

Well what else can I say other than thank you… Thank you all of you ladies who stood by me and helped me grow and had the guts to give me tough love so I would wake up and change. You all are my angels. Also, special thanks to my dearest Aleda who is now one of my closest friends ! She is the one who gave the strength and taught me patience and how to become mellow and feminine although I was badly resisting it.

I love you all!!! And may God bless you all.”

Shared on 9/19/2014.

I have written four blog posts on Arida. Her story is amazing. She was friend zoned when she found me. Nowadays her boyfriend is totally smitten. “So, the man who keeps telling me that he hates to call is now calling me quite often just to share about his day and ask me if I am well. He even said that he is addicted to me and needs to see me. Lol. It really pays to be feminine and genuinely loving. He just keeps on stepping up. Katarina, you are a pure genius. Life would have been miserable if I hadn’t found you. Lol. I am summoning the universe (Law of Attraction) to make me cross paths with you. I am so jealous because Ana was able to hug you for real the other day. Lol. Love you, Kat…”

Shared on 8/10/2014, ENGAGED!

“Today he put a ring on it!!!:D After dating for about a year and a half he still had ex baggage and so he asked for an indefinite break. He said he didn’t know if we would get back or not and that’s the time I found Kat and the lovely ladies here:) it was a painful 3 months and I learnt the lean back concept. He kept calling just as friends and all but at some point I realized it wasn’t working for me so I asked him to stop contacting me (at this point I learnt to focus on me and do what’s best for me) and its like he just couldn’t stop…about 2 weeks later he asked me out on a date and asked me back. Since then our relationship has been wonderful and now we are getting married:D

Thank you so much…its all coz I found u ladies and continue to learn so much from you♥.”

Shared on 8/6/2014, ENGAGED! Married on 9/20/2015.

Kat, I have been dating a very emotionally available man for the first time in my life. Long distance – he lives in Canada. Met him when I wasn’t looking, and have employed your strategies the entire time we have dated about responding to his contact and not initiating my own. Worked very well for me. Part of what helped was to recognize the signs of EUMs and walk way from them until finally someone who is EA comes into your life, and then that’s the guy who is worthy of your time and attention. He proposed in front of his whole family at Banff Springs – you can see the photo on my timeline if anyone wants to see. ”

And on 5/1, 2014

“Ok I’m freaking out. My boyfriend proposed! Great you’re thinking. What’s wrong? We’ve known each other 6 months. Four of those as an exclusive couple. Too damn soon! This from a guy I was chasing and leaning forward so much that I almost chased him away until I found this group. I suggested we revisit this the end of the year. When it’s been longer. But now I’m wondering what the heck is wrong with him to want to marry me so fast! Am I creating a problem where there’s none or am I justified in being a bit freaked out?
I turned him down!! I said propose again after a year. Yeah I freaked out. I just don’t want another failed marriage and it seems rushing into something so fast wouldn’t help.
And it’s not that I don’t love him very much. And this has been the easiest relationship, with the least amount of friction I’ve ever been in. I just need to see that continuing a bit longer to know 100% this has a chance of working for long term, since I really do want to minimize as much as possible the chance of another divorce. So it’s not that I don’t have the feelings, I just want to make sure no crazy comes out in the next few months. lol”

“Update. Called him just to talk things through. I told him I didn’t want him to think I didn’t love him or didn’t want to marry him. Basically just scared of failure again. We agreed to a longer engagement and are getting married on January 16, 2015. Nothing big just a simple trip to Reno or Vegas. Lol here’s the text I got after our talk. I’m the blue. Ignore the boring food stuff lol so guess I’m engaged now!!!!!!”

Shared on 6/1, 2014, GET BACK WITH EX!

“I have been (re)claimed! He apologized over and over for breaking my heart, and promises to never let me go again, saying “I’m ready to commit myself to you properly this time.” and “But you, are all mine again. My lover, pin-up and confidant. My Jillian.” Not to mention he bought tickets to ACL in October because he knew I’ve always wanted to go! Looks like I’m going to Texas in 5 months!

Thank you Katarina Phang! You are amazing!”

Here’s the progression with Jillian who pushed her guy away with her neediness and masculine energy so he broke up with her. She began practicing my method for a couple of weeks, and on May 27 she wrote: “Good morning ladies! My ex has really been stepping up this week, and he’s BEGGING to see me tonight. He’s chasing me again, and if course I’m jumping up and down internally because I’m still in love with him. Well, since I am technically single, I have every right to date around. I’m on eharmony to build up a rotation, and there is a guy that I exchanged numbers with yesterday and I feel guilty about it, like it’s unfair to my ex, but he broke up with me and hasn’t mentioned reconciling (yet). How do you ladies deal with this nagging feeling?”

Then on May 28, she updated: “This leaning back and embracing our inner goddess is amazing! Thank you, Katarina! I am so happy right now that I have to share!

When my ex and I agreed to start seeing each other again last week (Friday), we set up terms and one of them was we would see each other every 2 weeks (his rule, and I went along with it. Follow his lead, right?). Since Friday he’s been texting me with sweet words. Sunday he said that he realizes he is a lucky guy and that “It’s certainly a connection like none other [he’s] ever had.” He even sends goodnight texts with kisses, something he hasn’t done since the first month we started dating. Monday night he wished I didn’t have to work on Tuesday and would really like to see me. I let him beg for a bit, and then agreed to see him last night. He began texting me the minute he woke up Tuesday morning, asking what time I’m going to be coming over, and that he’s really looking forward to seeing me.

Wait, is this the same guy that told me 3 weeks ago that he wasn’t ready for a relationship? Took all our pictures down on Facebook? And completely cut me out of his life without any hope of getting back together? And now he’s CRAVING for attention from me? Whoa… that’s a complete 180, IMO!

Back to the texts… I told him to pick a time for me to come up, and he said anytime since he has no plans. And starts talking about what we’re going to do for dinner! I agree to 7pm, and he replies that I can come earlier if I want. I teased him and asked if he wanted earlier, to which he replied, “I just want to spend some nice time together.” Well, even though I wanted to be there right when I’m off from work, I stuck to my guns and waited until close to 7pm to show up. Earlier in the day, I posted on Facebook that there was a concert I wanted to go to next week.

Within 5 minutes of me showing up at his place, he mentions the concert and asks me if I want to go with him. I tried so hard to not have my jaw drop to the floor, or bring up the fact that one of the rules of our terms for FWB was no relationship stuff like we used to do… we really bond over concerts and music… but heck, he even offered to pay! When we were together, we had plans to go to San Diego over that weekend, and he brought that up, and kept saying he was sorry. I shrugged it off with a smile, and never allowed him to know that I’m still a little hurt that those plans were cancelled (I really love San Diego!), but the breakup was his decision!

The rest of the night went very smooth… he reached for me and pulled me to snuggle with him on the couch, he cooked dinner, and was like the man I fell in love all over again, including lots of kisses! But never once did I bring up our past relationship or pressure him for anything. I leaned back and allowed him to have control of how the events of the night panned out. One thing I know he was never comfortable talking about was his ex-wife, and he brought it up when I walked out of the bathroom and he was texting on his phone. He mentioned that he’s finally getting her off the car insurance and phone bill. I didn’t say anything, but smiled and gave him a kiss. (I honestly did not know what to say!) When it was time for bed, he held me the entire night and wouldn’t let go until I left in the morning to start my day. He seemed a bit sad that I was leaving so early!

But wow… In the last month of my relationship with him, I had stopped receiving this much affection until last night. Of course I want to bring up if there is any idea of us getting back together because I’m in love with this man, but thanks to Katarina, I know better. For now, I have to sit back, let him lead, and just keep myself busy with my life.”

Shared on 2/4, 2014

“I am ENGAGED!! He sure was an EUM!!! He was damaged by his son’s Mom and hid behind his work (construction worker whom you guys swore he was married).. lol..
I just kept loving him.. when I leaned back, it rustled his feathers and he pouted… so I kept loving him the best he knew how, but put a few in rotation to kill my own anxiety. Well, the ones I did rotate knew about him (as he was my boyfriend) and gave me wonderful male insight and even encouraged me to stick by his side. This weekend he said he’s madly in love with me. Today HE discussed marriage… and tonight he proposed.
I think what did it for me: a male friend told me: “There is nothing else you can do.. if you love him the best you know how, trust that you left an impact on his heart and he will be back” shifted my energy tremendously.
Kat, I remember going crazy trying to find your book!! I visited every book store for days.. finally I Inbox you.. but unfortunately couldn’t afford the book or classes, so you tagged me into the group.. best thing that could have happened to my relationship. At first I was like what the hell.. but I knew I had to try something different because I felt like I was losing at the game of love.. thanks ladies and love you Kat…… ((hug))”

Shared on 1/28/2014, GET BACK WITH EX And ENGAGED!

Keisha is one of my most committed clients. After breaking up for a second time within a year and her doing my programs the last 7 months, they got back together the end of January and their relationship is stronger than ever.
“Tonight: he laid right back to where we left of finally. He said it. I love you. In the most sincerest way. How about that……. you want nothing. You get everything.
Lol. I can’t believe it. It took all year long. But so far it’s a night and day change.
I now support his hobbies. He does all this high end desert racing I had zero interest in. It’s very expensive and I would make comments. He was very defensive about it. That pissed him off. Now, I encourage it. It makes him happy. He asked my opinion about this race in Mexico he was considering. Told me the cost. I replied he should do it. That was a good opportunity someone offered him to use their car. And the price wasn’t bad. He was in an accident in this same race last summer. Very bad. So I hated it. But, he’s going to do it anyway. So, just go with the flow.
And you should see how he dives right into it with this honey. OMG. It’s like math as you said, 2 plus 2 equals 4.
I swear I wish you could have seen his face. He was in SHOCK. I had to tell him I was serious when I said “this is a good opportunity”” ~Keisha, New York

UPDATE: KeishaGot a ring on 11/8/2014!!!

As shared on 2/10/2014

“Hi Kat, I just came back from a fantastic weekend getaway with my new man. Every moment was wonderful. He was very loving and attentive, concerned about meeting my every need and desire, making sure I had a fantastic time and I did. It’s hard to believe that we met only a short time ago and that he has already claimed me. Only two short months ago it felt like I would never meet anyone I could have such a deep connection with, but I see now that all the hard work I have been doing has paid off.

I discovered your ebook back in October, after breaking up with my EUM. I was devastated by the end of that relationship and wanted to know how I could get him back. More importantly, I recognized that a pattern was playing out in my love life and knew I needed to change it. I couldn’t understand why I kept dating the same guy wearing different pants. Reading your book made me see the relationship with my EUM very clearly, especially my role in its demise. I had read David Deida but never understood how masculine-feminine energy dynamics were playing out in my relationships specifically. I thought I was such a feminine woman because I wore high heels to take out the garbage. I saw myself as accepting, warm and receptive, yet I had no idea how much I was leaning forward with my anxious energy, my mothering and smothering, my over giving and overall over-functioning in the relationship.

Your group first introduced me to the concept of raising your frequency, and that you basically attract what you are. I’d had no idea that the reason I kept dating these emotionally unavailable guys and had even been married to one was because I had this characteristic in myself. Just this simple recognition was enough for me to start making profound changes within myself.

I won’t lie–I worked really hard. I spent a couple hours every day on the process and the various exercises and learnings that went along with it. I took the Journey Inward and Leaning Back workshops, which were invaluable steps on my journey–especially Leaning Back, as it showed me exactly what actions I could take to turn things around.

I recall that in one of the classes you referred to me as one of your most committed students and I believe I was. I knew I had to change but also recognized that if I changed my behavior superficially the results would not be long lasting. I had read a lot of self help and relationship books in my life, but nothing ever worked for me until I started doing deep inner work.

Between October and December I cried every day, but I kept working on myself even when my mind seemed stuck in the same obsessions about my EUM. I knew I had to keep going.

I tried to get out there and date but no one remotely suitable was showing up. Most of the men who were messaging me were at least twenty years younger, looking to hook up–which I wasn’t into. I kept working while staying open to opportunities at the same time; I just didn’t go looking for them. One night I checked my online profile and there was a message from a man that really grabbed my attention. I felt this little pop while I read his profile. It was as if he had written it especially for me. We met a few days later and the connection was instantaneous.

Ever since my divorce from a controlling, domineering alpha male, I have been attracted to guys who are more of a sensitive artist type, or who work in helping professions like counseling or teaching. They are givers and pleasers, and have made it easy for me to step in and try to drive the bus. Now that I’m much more grounded in my feminine energy, I have been able to lean back and let my new man do all the planning and executing, without my trying to do his job for him. It’s been so liberating and I feel very feminine and cared for in his presence.

This man is the most emotionally available man I have ever known, and I know he is in my life now because I am more emotionally available now as well. I recognized what was causing me pain in my life and began healing it. The old me would have run for the hills when he started expressing his feelings or tried to claim me so fast–I would have thought him as needy and clingy. He’s not, he just really likes me and let’s me know. Being with him has made me feel cherished and adored for the first time in my life and to see that I deserved more than what my EUM was giving me.

It’s early in my relationship, so who knows how it’s all going to turn out, but I am confident if that this man isn’t the one, someone even better will come along. I’m no longer the crumb grabber, dependent on approval from a man to make me feel whole. I have everything I need within me to attract a great guy and keep him investing in me. Thanks Kat, for your great group and the support you give your clients to become their best feminine selves.”

As shared on 2/10/2014

“Hey ladies, I am so happy… He messaged me and said he can’t live without me anymore. He loves me a lot and said sorry for what he had done. I am so happy we are together again but it can’t be possible without you Katarina and all the group members. Thank you so much for helping me out.”

As shared on 1/25/2014, CLAIMED!

“Guess who just got claimed!! My EUM and I went on a date last night and he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, to be “his” only and no guy can get near me. He asked if I had been on dates since we started dating and I told him yes. He was really jealous asking if I got physical with them.

He said he’s crazy about me and will never let me go, that me being busy and not around as often as I was caused him to get scared he might lose me. We were incredibly open with each other about what we wanted out of life with no pressure on him but given the age difference I told him I would eventually wanna get married and have kids.

I said he’s free to do what he wants but that I didn’t wanna get hurt if we didn’t have the same intentions in mind given he has already had kids whereas I haven’t.I told him I didn’t wanna hurt him intentionally or not and I don’t wanna end up hurt so that’s why I wanna start the relationship without any assumptions or expectations. He said he still wants all those things and that he wants me to be his “forever”.

We had a very sweet and affectionate night and I’m so happy we were both finally able to get these things off our chest and realize we both want the same things in life and within a relationship.

He said he’s never felt so supported and accepted with anyone else but that it took him awhile to step up because he was worried about me and what people would say about the age difference and also fear of getting rejected by me down the road given i’m much younger. He could hardly let me go at the end of the night.

And now I am officially off the market thanks to Kat’s teachings. I couldn’t have gotten here without all of you wonderful ladies advising me along. Thanks so much! I plan on sticking around and continue learning with everyone here;))”

Shared 12/31/2013, CLAIMED!

“Here’s my update: I’m off the market. Yes, I’m in a relationship and best of all, I was the one “caught”.

Thank you Kat for everything you taught me but most of all, thank you for placing a mirror in front of myself that allowed me to see just how beautiful and worthy I am.

The man that I’m with is very masculine and quite the alpha. He can pick me up with one arm and finds my quirks adorable. He looks after me. I feel protected and cared for. It’s an amazing feeling.

So all you ladies, please join Kat’s programs and truly listen to what she has to say. There is a great healing that takes place.

Kat, if I could hug you, I would.

All my love,

China”

Update: 1/10/2014

“Status Update? He asked me to move in with him. =] He’s a very masculine man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

I said yes however, we both agreed that I’m going to slowly move in. He said this was the first time he’s ever done this so it’s a little foreign to him.

Him: “You know, I’ve never had a woman sleep over. I wasn’t too big on cuddling. It was more about sex. But with you… I don’t know. I really like waking up next to you.” *

His place looks like a bachelor’s pad. Go figure!

And a major part of my thanks goes to you. Oh gosh Kat — I showed him some of your recent posts and he was intrigued/ he really liked them! He agreed completely about the whole not forcing a man to commit.

Him: “That’s true. A man wants to feel like HE picked the girl.”

He literally said to me: “I want to take care of you.”

And he does.

He still lets me have my independence and freedom (and I do the same) it’s a mutual respect, trust, and communication thing we have going on here. Speaking of which, he really liked your post on trust.

Being a masculine man, talking about relationships isn’t his cup of tea but because it’s so important to me — he even gives male insight to my girl friends and their relationships.”

Christine moved to NZ to be with a guy who turned out to be not ready for anything serious. Here’s her recent story after practicing my method, as shared in the ladies group at 12/7/2013: “Ladies, so many things happening lately! I got caught between a rock and a hard place, and ended up having to move in with my ex again because I had no place to go. The first couple days I moved in with him, he started making references like I was his girlfriend, and it left like we were headed somewhere….but nothing was said. I still had to assume that he didn’t want to be in a relationship and so I didn’t bring up any conversation with him and was just trying to stay present. But then he started to pull away and I got frustrated with his mixed message. So I started to pull back from him.

I started to avoid his affection more and one night he even found out that I went out with another guy while he was at work. The guy was very nice and we had a good date. He wants to see me again, and couldn’t bare not kiss me at the end of the date.

I got home and Tyler saw how I was dressed and asked if there was anything he needed to worry about with this guy. He asked me to watch a movie with him, his hand on my leg…and eventually we were starring at each other. He asked me what I was thinking and eventually we were pulled into conversation.

He said he realized I had been pulling away the last couple of days and he wanted it to stop. He also said that he recognized the energy of wanting to know where our relationship stood has come up, but he just thought it would be nice to let it flow naturally.

We talked about so much that night, it ended pretty sensitive because along with him telling me he wants me and loves me, he also wants the freedom to have sexual experiences with anyone and not be cut off from anything – it makes him feel less free. He has sort of a rampant sexuality that he’s trying to understand and get a hold of, including bi sexuality. Anyway, I was being accepting. But I was so crushed realizing that I needed to let go of him, get out of this house, and figure out my next move in life because that doesn’t work for me.

I realized all the reasons why I wouldn’t want to be with a man who didn’t want all of my magnificence. I deserved so much better than that.

He took me to breakfast this morning and as we sat down, he said “Our relationship has been a hot topic for everyone lately.” He mentioned he noticed the attitudes in his friends changing towards him, some of them in frustration about his behavior with me. I ended up basically telling him that my desire for him was starting to die. I told him what I deserved. I also told him my frustrations and relatively negative opinions of his behavior in the most kind way I could.

I told him if he is willing to give up our love for the chance of a random fuck than he’s not the person I thought he was, and I needed to redefine my idea of him if that’s who he is. I deserve to be claimed by someone who wants all of me, and I do not want an open relationship. He mentioned that he was hurt because he was trying to open up to me and redefine a new relationship once I moved into the house – he just wanted it to progress naturally and didn’t want to have to talk about it…but then I went out with another guy and he didn’t know what to make of all of it.

I told him that I broke down yesterday because of the decision I potentially had to make. I expressed how torn I was because he is my family here, including all of his friends…and how we’ve been all becoming closer since I moved back in this week. I said I don’t want to be anywhere else but with family here, it feels too lonely any other way. I’ve been living away from them for months and it’s not the experience I want. I expressed the pain I was having in being torn between going home – or staying – and how if I was going to stay it likely meant I had to move away from him and all of this support.

Somewhere mid conversation, he had a huge smile and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. He said you don’t have to answer now, and I didn’t. But a bit later, he said “So what do you think, do you want to be my girlfriend? You always were my girlfriend, we just had to take some time to figure some things out.” I ended up saying yes I feel hopeful, and grateful for this creation of mine.

Thank you Universe and Kat. I must admit though, there is still a slight residue of fear in the air for both of us just because it’s a total new angle we are taking. We both know we don’t want to make the same mistakes. He wants to learn to trust that his love will be received and not shoved in his face. He wants to trust he’ll be respected and seen, and wants to lead. And I want to trust that he can lead, that he won’t want to run off in mind fantasies with someone else.

He mentioned he needed to figure out something to do about his sexual urges. He has been open about them with me, which makes me feel more comfortable than keeping it a secret. He also said that most of the urges he had when we were together we mostly fueled by his unfulfillment in our relationship. Most of all, I want to trust in myself that I can nurture myself even if I get triggered and show up for him and myself happily.

I’m hoping that as I stay in alignment with my feminine essence and cultivate a happy, relaxed relationship his urges will decrease. Does anyone have experience with something like this? Does anyone have some words of encouragement as I open my arms to this new relationship? I really want to make it magic this time.”

10/9/2013, as shared in the ladies group:

“Hi ladies: update on my situation. So he filed his divorce. He said” I love you and need you to be patient with me through divorce process, I’m not letting you go, you’re mine and I will not tolerate you seeing other men”
He stayed the night holding me and kissing me all night and he’s taking me to the airport this week.
His wife wanted a divorce too, they’ve been done for couple of years now, just dragging it you know.
He’s in love with me I know but this is a tough road being patient for him to finalize the divorce. Now he said he has to look for a place and move out by the end of this year. Amicable divorce both parties wanted it long time ago.
But thanks for your advise, opening up to him and telling him my fears and concerns by being vulnerable helped. Thank you!
I asked him what made him fall in love and he said “I just enjoyed my time with you, you had no agenda like most other women, you were always in the moment just going with the flow, no expectation, never pressured me with anything” so I was exactly how you teach women to be and that’s what made him fall in love.
I was like that because I wasn’t really taking this relationship seriously so I was totally laid back and he was pursuing all the time.
Except the last couple of months I started complaining and having expectations and giving him a hard time but he was already attached by then.
So I believe what you teach works!”

10/8/2013, as shared in the ladies group:

“Update: My EUM and I had a nice weekend cooking for friends and had a great time. Tonight I came home and he was outside with one of his good friends. After his friend leaves he tells me had a good time with me this weekend and tells me he has fun with me now. I asked him what’s changed and he replies he’s not sure but I seem less up tight and more open. He asks me what are we doing here and asked if I wanted to give it a try again. I said sure lets try and if it doesn’t work . . . He interrupts me and says no it’s gotta work. He tells me he asked all his friends including the one that was over to ask them what they thought and they all agreed he was a better man with me in his life. I was smiling on the inside as I realized the quick shift doing the inner work Katarina teaches made in this relationship. Tonight he’s in bed with me and not the couch. ?
He’s my ex, well was my ex. We have two children and we have been together off and on for 12 years. We had a terrible break up over a year and a half ago. He was staying on my couch platonically for the past two months and convinced himself we were done..LOL.
He lost his well paying job at the same moment I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child. He turned towards the bottle I turned super critical and emasculating. I moved out of our shared home and we spent a year apart.
I love him and I’m enjoying each day as it unfolds the less expectations and pressure I bring to the situation the easier and happier he and I become. Let me tell you if Katarina method works on him it will work on any man. Lol!

From Natalie, 7/10/2013

“Omg! Kat! I just want to hug you right now!!! My EUM actually CALLED, which never happened before, and told me he’s purposely was not giving my watch back so he could see me again! And he asked if I want to go to Dave & Busters on Saturday! Whaaaat??? That’s just soooo unbelievable…..!
You are not only a man whisperer, you are women’s brain changer! Yep. You can put that on your timeline! Lol”

~~~~

7/12/2013

“Hi Kat! I just signed up for your program. I am your fan for life, and want to know more. You have no idea how many books on relationships I’ve read in the past year, and nothing seemed to be working! After purchasing your book, and seeing results right away, not signing up for your program would be dumb! LOL. I just got a text message from my EUM “YOU ARE AMAZING!” Dang, of course I am. ; )
Remember how he was all jerk about my watch? You were right! He got the kick! When he called, he said, “You can can have any man you want in a heartbeat, but right now I AM talking to you. Am I special?” Seriously, this kind of conversation is out of this world! HE asks me if he is special to me. AND I was the one chasing him!
I said, “Of course you are special and unique, but let’s not put any labels.” And then he said, “I just miss you so much!”
Crazy, huh???
He just sent me text you are so sexy! What should I say? Thank you? Lol?”

UPDATE on Natalie, 9/27/2013:

I woke up to a message from Natalie to check her wall. And sure enough she is now in relationship. A week or so ago she still asked advice on some of the other guys in her rotation, according her EUM. She joined my Journey Inward group coaching and Leaning Back and Cultivating Feminine Mystique workshop (still ongoing), during which time she has transformed herself to become such a high-value woman she had problems with men going gaga on her, including -again- her EUM. Finally the right man stepped up and claimed her. There was “no talk,” no ultimatum, no timeline, none of that traditional junk advice. She doesn’t stay single for long because a woman like her is RARE. That’s how my method works like a charm. It shifts your energy and makes any woman UTTERLY irresistible.
She said, “Thank you, Kat! You taught me so much not just about relationships, but about myself. All we really need to do is stop chasing pavements, use a little patience, and the right one will come and be right there for you. I didn’t ask to change FB status, HE did! And he was proud to announce that. He wants to show me to the whole wide world that I’m HIS woman.”

9/26/2013, as shared in the ladies group:

“I’m still leaning back from everyone (my EUM and other men I’ve been getting to know) and putting all of my energy into making myself full (spiritually and emotionally). After a long day at work yesterday, I fell asleep super early. When I woke up this morning I had a crap load of missed calls and texts. Six of the missed calls were from my EUM. The others were from other men I’ve been getting to know. Of course I was most happy about the calls from my EUM. It hasn’t been like him to call so many times back to back like that, and the fact that he did let me know his state of mind. But I had to remind myself to not get too excited and over-eager.

I’ve been SUPER aggressive with my EUM in the past so I had to remember to play it cool. When I returned his calls this morning, he wanted to know my schedule for today. I let him know that I had things going on – cocktail party later at a country club and also linking up with a friend visiting from out of town. He asked me to call him later today and I said I would. Still debating if I should or just wait for him to lean forward again. It’s not so much about playing games, but just me making sure that I continue to put myself first and not expend my energy trying to control things. This is definitely a bit of a tricky time for me, but I think leaning back is the smartest thing to do! This is definitely a training ground for me.

~~~
I didn’t have to call EUM yesterday. He called me. I didn’t question him on his intentions because as I said earlier, I think that would be leaning forward, which I won’t do anymore. I just talked about how much fun I had at my cocktail party. He brought up the conversation about us on his own. He wants me to be his woman again.

I teasingly (though I was serious) said, “If you want me back you are going to have to earn me.” He said, “I’m not going to let you go again.” My response was “Why don’t we just give it some time first and see where we’re at a couple of months from now.” I said that because I want to continue on the path I’ve been of dating, getting to know other people, and growing into myself. I’m ok with his intentions.

As I said earlier, I knew he wasn’t going to come back and try to claim me as his “wife” because he’s not ready. And I wouldn’t even want him to offer me something that he doesn’t feel ready for just to keep me. Never pressure a man to give you something he doesn’t want or feel ready to give you because then he will just end up resenting you. I’m happy with where I am at this point in my life. I’m just going to keep doing me and watch as my life expands. If he chooses to be in it, great. If he does not, it will still be just as great.”

8/12/2013, as shared in my private group:

“My dearest Katarina Phang, I came to you heart-broken, bruised, crazy messed up, needing an anchor and a change in my life. You fulfilled all of those by teaching me the importance of loving myself first – through the amazing steps of leaning back, mirroring, and discovering my feminine spirit. Through your guidance, and the support of everyone in this group, I quickly found myself starting to let go of my old aggressive, masculine energy, replacing it with someone happy, soft, confident, cool and patient. Gone was the old anxiety of needing to be in a relationship. You helped me see how emotionally unavailable I was – and how I was attracting that exact guy.

I thought Don was an EUM. It seemed logical that I would attract one, being EU myself. But after two weeks of hanging out (I guess we were dating…?) he has claimed me as his. I can’t remember exactly how he said it, but he has made it very clear that he and I are an official couple now.

I was shaking, terrified, practically screaming, crying, everything. I told him who I was, I laid my horror story on the line, and he just shrugged: “Okay, so? I knew I wanted you from the day we met. When I want something, nothing stops me.” I kept giving him a way out and he refused to take it. He was calm, rational, reasonable, and so logical, that even in my highly emotional and petrified state, I saw the sense of his words. Day by day, step by step, letting him lead and take control, set the pace…and trust him, trust myself, trust that this could be a good thing.

Don is a MAN. And I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate his masculinity had I stubbornly held fast to my old masculine habits. It’s SO NICE to lean back, knowing and trusting that my man is masculine enough for both of us. The yin yang balance of his strong masculinity and the femininity that you have taught me creates such peace, somehow.

I wonder, Kat, if you know how effective your teachings are – imagine, after two weeks of seeing this guy, we’re now a couple (although in his book, it’s more than a month, as he knew he would get me by hook or by crook from the minute he met me – and in his words, “It’s been quite difficult to get you!”).

It took me by surprise, because I had no idea that anyone could work those kinds of miracles. My faith in your teachings was amplified full force this weekend!

THANK YOU KAT!

Katarina, I just gotta say, once again – AFTER TWO WEEKS. That’s how amazing your lessons are; I was claimed after TWO WEEKS.

A really good male buddy dropped by for a quick chat. He noticed that Don seems to like me more than I like him. That’s exactly how I like it, because I can lean back all I like, knowing and trusting that he’ll come chasing. It’s awesome being so feminine!

Oh and Katarina here’s another thing I learned from you – the subtle art of playing hard to get. I realized it’s not “playing” hard to get – it’s being such a prize that you are anything but easy! And yet I was soft and obliging whenever he wanted to see me…I would try to make time, even though he knew how jam-packed my schedule was (and still is, and will always be). I came across as such a prize that he claimed me…I think, honestly, because he didn’t want me dating anyone else and running the risk of some other guy winning. Otherwise, like he said, it’s status quo :).”

Update 6/15/2013 as shared in my private group:

“I got my man back. He has all of the sudden gotten very serious. Moving back in, wanting to get married and buy a house together etc. I am letting him move back in but holding off on the rest for now. Leaning back works, and moving on works. But now that he’s back, and living with me, how do I keep it fresh? And make sure it will work before I commit to the rest? This is our second go round living together. Don’t want to make the same mistakes, and I know so much more after reading Kat’s material. But I want to keep our relationship fresh and exciting. We both work 12 hour days, and I have 3 kids at home, so it’s so easy to quickly get in a rut.

We never really went without contact, a week or 2 at the most. The longest we went without seeing each other was a month or so I think but we were always in touch with each other just not daily or on regular intervals like before. We got back together about 10 months ago, only after I started dating someone else and refused to see him at all for a while, but we still talked. It was very up and down and we broke it off again at the end of January right when I bought Kat’s book.

I began reading her material, and putting it into practice when possible (and trust me I was doing EVERYTHING wrong!!!). We never really stopped talking or seeing each other at least now and then after the 2nd break up. And I went on dates with other men, joined a gym, changed jobs and started working more hours and really just focused on myself and my kids. Totally practiced leaning back and mirroring. I told him that I was dating others one night during a conversation and he seemed cool with it. But he has latched onto me since. I have had my reservations about his motives of course. But just thoroughly enjoying the attention from him. We went to a work function of his last night and several of his co-workers told me he told them he was a changed man and was going to marry me.

It is very hard to put into practice things that you learn, it’s just natural to go back to instinctual behaviors when upset, but I was horrible to this man, I turned him into a frog! I really did. And these tendencies still surface, I am very insecure, I can see it in all areas of my life actually. I’m afraid the old me will surface and push him away again. But I have come a long way. I will keep reading and learning and working on building my own confidence. Kat’s material is amazing, and spot on. It is almost an instant change in their behaviors when you put it into full practice. I won’t stop learning and growing with or without this man!!” Kristie Graham, Lousiana.

“I’m so blown away by the amount of knowledge and insight Katarina has on the nature of men’s genetic make-up! And I’m also blown away by the fact how much I didn’t know about what’s healthy for myself in dating and relationship and how much I’m feeling so empowered after reading this book. She’s so extremely smart. Thank you, Katarina, for making us women see how much power we have in our relationship with men!! A must-read, ladies!”

“Since reading the book and having coaching with Katarina my life has changed. Not only my life but my perspective on men myself and the expectations we have on ourselves and men! I’ve finally changed my outlook on men and beginning to learn a great deal about them!! This book and coaching has changed my life and is giving me the empowerment to value myself I highly recommended!

Every woman needs this book regardless if you are with the most commited man in the world! Us women crave to understand men. This book is the key to really understanding them. I’m grateful for this journey. I’m too going to pay it forward and help others!

Most woman dealing with this are successful educated and sexy women whom just have insecurities due to their past hurt.

Even therapy hasn’t helped as much as coaching and reading this book! Us women need to embrace our femine side as well as really understanding men and the role they play!”

UPDATE from Mandy after blocking me on FB and resisting my advice (she kept relapsing into old destructive habits that didn’t work with her guy even after I told her repeatedly that there was no way a man who just wanted sex would put up with her nagging for over 1.5 years! I told her to either walk away if she was that unhappy or try to stick around and heed my advice while dating other men and stop bringing up the talk altogether which she found it really hard to do. Her case proves that a woman can turn a FWB into a serious relationship if she knows the secret and I teach that secret), 6/30/2013:
“Hi Hun thought I would again reach out to you again with positive feedback and an apology. So I took your advice and moved on well trying to not put my eggs in one basket and five weeks later Brad came back to me confessing his love showing me he filed for divorce which is finalised this month and that he wants exclusivity. Of course at first I took it as a lip service but one month later all is well and moving forward. I love this man, it’s worth a shot so yes you’re right and I apologise profusely to you for not heeding. I’m still dealing with my anxiety and anxious attaching as I’m regaining this man’s trust but Brad has helped through leaps and bounds! His ex knows about me and is moving on and she did start trouble but he stood up to her and said back off!! So I now have the love of my life and I’m still dealing with insecurities but your process does work.
We have also talked about marriage kids moving in together next year things are moving forward.
Basically I fought with myself for a long time about the reality of my EUM (emotionally unavailable man) situation. I always thought I wasn’t good enough and that he never loved me. He only wanted sex!! I should have listened to Kat more but in the end I was having a war with myself and suffering a lot.
I deleted Kat, took things personally and also was very depressed! Why wasn’t this man stepping up??!! Then I just instinctually gave up and began Internet dating, met a guy, hit it off, dated exclusively a month and my EUM was gone! Now this guy was great then began doing some shady stuff. In that time my EUM emailed saying I miss you. I thought stuff you, too little to late even though secretly I missed my best friend!
Things fizzled with new guy and my EUM began declaring his love for me, the words falling off his lips. It freaked me out and I was quite shocked he also filed for divorce and explained that he needed this big shake up to realise that he couldn’t live without me.
He also told me he had been in love with me for months but was scared as he had so much baggage from his ex!! Now I took a chance after his romantic wooing me back and seeing where things go. We are exclusive. I’m also apart of his children’s life now and he is meeting my family next week we plan to move in in a year’s time even though I’ve been dating over year and half, it’s only a month exclusiveness so I wanna take it slow!!
The amazing feeling of having the man I’ve loved for so long say it back proves that leaning back works. You can’t push a man to want or love you. I had to nurture me!!”

Update 6/5/2013:

“Well Kat, I want you to know that I feel amazed at how Randy is coming back around these days!!! And I largely credit that to you! Your book helped me to finally understand WHY it’s important to let men initiate. Before I was just doing it cuz I knew it worked. Now I feel internally motivated to lean back. Thanks, I feel pretty darn excited! Totally positive vibes coming from him these days! He invited me out last Friday, and we had a beautiful time from beginning to end! He said some beautiful things that really blew me away. He still isn’t moving our “friendship” to the next level, but he is becoming far more attentive and warm! I hope you get this well publicized, because for real, this deserves to be a best seller, far more than that stupid book, “He’s Just Not That Into You.’”

“Katarina’s brilliant advice for those of us women relating with an EUM is priceless….Katarina advocates that we start taking care of our own emotional needs through self-responsibility which means to get on with our life impregnating a sense of value, self-worth and importance into our daily activities and meditations. We are encouraged to lean back and wrap our arms around our own Hearts and cradle ourselves in self-love whilst chilling out the anxiety driven part of our nervous systems around the need for a man’s love and take the opportunity to breathe freedom, joy, strength, tranquility, clarity and calm into this deeply wounded part of ourselves. The results for me have been beyond belief – the change in my EUM’s attention direction as I have followed Katarina’s advice is that now the Cupids arrow is pointing right back at me!!! Now I get to decide will I catch it or let it fly past me? I feel so liberated and free in my loving and so much more centered, calm and relaxed in my being. Thank you Kat – beautiful !!! ”

UPDATE 6/21/2013:

“Lol..Ok Ok I get it I get it……..when a man wants you there is NO question ie is he in to me?????? He swims the river for you..and as Kat says……..if not yes give him a chance, lean back and be in your feminine but honestly this man who is totally in pursuit that I am dating does NOT want to let me go…..!! He has already organized date 3 on Tuesday and weekend date taking me to another seas side area for some R and R! …..the turn around from the EUM is like a blinding light beaming in to my life……….
Well just spent 2 days with my guy….phew what a weekend!! Of opening..emotionally, spiritually, physically..it’s been big and he is sooooo available and he’s asked me to be his girlfriend…..!! I didn’t say YES yet..still processing but our hearts opened to each other and although I was scared on Saturday now Monday night I feel more at ease and am learning to open my heart to LOVE.. It’s scary but a blessing!!! And he LOVES dancing !! He sings and plays the drums and loves my passion for life and what I do in the world…so wonderful to have an engaged and present MAN!! We have another date on Thursday….our conscious couples session was incredibly insightful…….and brought us closer together in truth..highly recommend people do this to set intention of relating….
I walked away from my EUM end of last year. It was the HARDEST choice I have ever made to walk into the light of MY truth and say I don’t want this anymore. I loved the guy and was so afraid to let go BUT I let go with love and kindness…….5 months later I have been given Lex……he is 60! and has said he has been looking for a woman like me all his life…and you know I have to confess through my absolute shock that I have been looking for a MAN like him all my life and never believed he was out there……I am still pacing myself IN but the heart armour against the masculine (father) is coming down….”

“Kat’s methodology of “Leaning Back” is the most simple and profound wisdom for women I’ve seen. It creates a perception of a woman with confidence and high value and men who are interested in a relationship beyond sex gravitate to those exact qualities.

Any woman who has engaged in “The talk” with me was either many steps behind or many steps ahead of where I was in the relationship. If she’s many steps ahead the man will either be scared off by what he perceives to be a needy woman or lie. If he eventually reaches the same point, now there’s a lie early on that clouds things. If she’s many steps behind he’s already lying and it will speed up his leaving and end more dramatically and painfully than need be.

To a man with options, ‘The talk’ does nothing more than highlight a woman’s sense of disconnection and if he was really into her he never would have let her get to that point in the first place. So lean back, let the man prove that he really is ‘That into you.” ”

UPDATE (9/27/2013):

“Your book is so awesome that I read it a lot!! Like to remind myself not to make the little mistakes. You can post this if you want. I am a lot more relaxed cos the book gives me confidence that sticking around is worth it! As soon as I shifted my energy, my guy agreed to get back together in relationship. He tested me at the beginning (because I had initially got so frustrated with him that I broke it off 3 times), he tried pushing my buttons to see if I would get mad at him and break it off again, but this time I knew better and I was understanding that guys need guy/ me time. So instead of nagging him I said ok and I welcomed him happy when he came to see me next. This resulted in him being more loving and sweet. And he trusts that I won’t break up with him when I don’t get my way.
My problem is we are so different culturally. He’s druze Lebanese which is worse cos you cannot become Druze by marriage. I guess the relationship is doomed based on this alone but your book is amazing and he clings to me which makes it really hard to end things and we also work together!!!!
Your technique makes him crave me so much he won’t let go…”